If I have not yet created the ideal life it is not the fault of my parents, my education, my environment, the state of the world or the state of the nation. It has everything to do with my state, quite literally.
I can whine and say how life has not been or is not fair and crawl up into a foetal position and suck my thumb bemoaning the ills of the world and my life or I can set about creating the life I do want.
The first you have to do is envision what your ideal life looks feels, sounds and even smells like.
Easy enough some might say. You want the best of the best. You want what the rich and famous have. You want it all. But what is it that you think the best of the best for you really is?
What do you want that the rich and famous have? And what specifically does having it all really mean?
For each of us that will probably look and feel quite different.
One of the first things you need to ask yourself is this: Is what I think I want what I really want.
Of course it is you might say. But is it? Or have you glibly accepted from others and the norms of our culture what success looks and feels like?
If you do not first honestly and diligently examine what would truly be an ideal life then all the creating in the world will not make you feel fulfilled or make you believe that what you have created to have any real value. That is if any of us are even successful in creating that false image of life in the first place.
What do I mean by that? Simply this, if you do not truly believe in the image of a successful life
created from other than your own unique and authentic view then you are not going to accomplish it anyway. This is a double whammy. Not only do you not honour your own unique sense of success and accomplishment but you probably will not even achieve the false one because you do not believe in it strongly enough to make it a success. All of which can leave us feeling lack, despondency, and sense of being less than.
So the first rule of thumb is that you need to have a great big WHY for wanting to create the life you want. If your WHY is big, bright and full of passion then you owe it to yourself and the world to go for it.
If that WHY gets you leaping out of bed in the morning with a smile on your face and a song in your heart then you know you have it. If effort becomes effortless than you know you are on the right track. If you have a feeling that this is the thing(s) you were meant to be doing then you are onto creating a life of purpose, joy and great rewards.
Once you have a great big WHY for your view of what constitutes a meaningful life for yourself it is important to keep reinforcing and embedding that goal/view into everything that you do.
Even when you are tempted, and you will be tempted, to stray off-course in creating your desired life you need to ask yourself this question; “Will taking the time and energy to do ‘X’ help me create the life I want or detract from it?”
If the answer is yes, with respect to creating your desired life, then go for it. If, on the other hand, the answer is no, well you would be quite foolish to take your focus off of what is wanted, no matter how tempting the distraction might be. You need to focus on the thoughts, feelings and activities that will get you to where you truly want to go.
That is not always easy. You will have others who do not share the same view of success telling you that you are barking up the wrong success tree. As well you will, from time to time, allow fear to consume your energy and swallow it up with thoughts of failure and feelings of inadequacy and doubt.
It is a choice whether you stay with those thoughts and feelings or whether you climb back up on your horse of purpose and ride towards where you know you want and will be going.
Focusing on the desired results over, and over, and over, and over again is absolutely essential to their attainment. You need to see, feel, hear, and even smell what the successful creation of your unique life is. Whatever the rituals that works in envisioning your desired life/goals needs consistent application.
ALL OUR EXPERIENCES ARE A SOURCE OF LEARNING
There may be disappointments along the way. However you cannot let those disappointments define you. It is what you do with and how you relate to those disappointments that will measure when and if you create our desired life.
If you view everything as a learning opportunity with respect to honing your ability to get to where you want to go then those perceived disappointments become gifts enabling you along your path.
There will also be moments of success and all of us would be well advised to celebrate those before swiftly moving onto the next thing on our agenda. Often we forget the importance of celebrating our successes, no matter how small, in carrying us towards our goals.
Whatever you believe you can or cannot accomplish will be your reality. You need to believe that you can and will create the life/goals that are right and true for you. If that is not your mindset then you cannot expect anyone else to believe in you. Why would they?
If you are not invested in your ability to create the life/goals you desire than who else can create it for you. The answer is no one. You are best placed to create your life and you need to believe that.
If you are ever tempted to ask yourself why me, you should counter that with why not me!
When you are certain that something can be done you take positive action to make it happen.
If you do not create a strong belief in yourself and your aspirations, goals and the life you want then you will not take positive and consistent action to attain the life/goals you desire. It is as simple as that. Belief fuels action.
RESULTS OR ‘IF ONLY’ STORIES – IT IS A CHOICE
If you do not strive to get the results you want then all you will have to show for your life is ‘if only’ stories.
Creating a life that is truly meaningful to and successful in your eyes is not always easy.
However, it is absolutely thinkable and doable if you know what that meaningful life looks, feels and sounds like and then go out and consistently create and re-create it in thought, word and deed.
As I said at the beginning, life is for growing into the best and truest version of ourselves. Decay should only set in when they stick us in the ground.
If you would like to discuss the details of this particular success story of the tangible benefits of initiating coaching within an organization or anything else with respect to the benefits of coaching, facilitation or mediation please feel free to contact her to set up a 30 minute free consultation.