13 Ways To Your Optimal Self (the fully expressed version of you!)


Check out these thirteen ways to access your essential self and express it in the world. They are presented in no particular order…
  1. Pay some attention to your interior life - This is where your intrinsic life guidance arises. How much attention you 'pay' depends on your needs. It might sound odd but if you pay attention you will know how much attention to pay at any given time. Paying attention to your interior life grows Awareness. Lack of Awareness leads to a wasting of energy, chasing superficial goals and fleeting pleasures. The principle to apply is “Inner first - outer follows”.
  2. When facing an apparent 'problem' try viewing it from the perspective of 'environmental feedback'. Feedback is simply information. Treating a 'problem' as 'feedback' helps you see things differently. Notice any emotional response you have towards the problem and seek an expanded, more inclusive view. Ask yourself 'What is this emotional response indicating?' Tell yourself the truth and then choose what action you will take in relation to your 'problem'. Sometimes shifting perspective actually transforms the problem into something altogether different, the same way a jigsaw piece is transformed when seen in the context of the whole picture.
  3. Delete the need to compete. Face the truth that there is no one like you. You are irreplaceable. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. This leaves you free to BE WHO YOU ARE, and cooperate with your BUILT-IN 100% natural potentials just itching to flourishthrough you. There is nothing to win or lose, just a life to fully live. 'On behalf of what?' is the choice you get - that IS your opportunity.
  4. If you focus on doing what feels deeply right, you will find you have a very deep imprint, like a watermark, that guides you. This imprint is a spiritual matter. It nudges us towards whatever we can be together, potentially a robust and sustainable, healthy human species. This is our positive potential and it involves each other. We need each other like a plant needs the sun. We shrivel when we are neglected. Learn to discern when someone else's needs are greater than your own.
  5. Practice personal reflection on a regular basis - on your own and with others. It will keep you honest. Reflect regularly day-to-day and week-to-week, and in bigger time chunks too. In your late 20's and again mid 30's, early 40's, around 50ish and onwards, consciously review what is important to you and re-choose what will drive you going forward. Reflect in seven-year cycles and you will consciously evolve your lifetime and find more and more treasure! This lifetime will become your legacy.
  6. Whatever 'calls you', keep learning about it. Follow your curiosity regarding 4. (above) and you will find yourself the only 'expert' there is with your particular perspective. You don't have to try and be an expert, you simply have to see the value of continuous learning as part of life. Cultivate an expanding perspective. Perspectives respectfully shared foster learning. They are illumination in the evolving human psyche - learning will come easily if you are open to it, and sharing your learning will only multiply it.
  7. Taste things. When you hear or have an idea, taste it before you discard. If you like it - the next step will become obvious. Find what works for you - truthfully. Keep your mind open to hitherto foreign ideas. You might get to know them well. Note: This is harder to do when ideas have become fixed - so challenge fixed ideas!
  8. Define yourself from the inside out. You are in charge of your standards. Respect the feedback of others you trust. Cultivate relationships that are safe and trustworthy. This will mean taking risks and sometimes being burnt. Know that being burnt is part of learning to trust, and of learning what being trustworthy really means.
  9. Choose to be PRESENT where you are and who you are with. If you are fully present in life you have access to 'spontaneously appropriate actions and reactions to everything'. You will be much more energized and productive if you are fully present with whatever you are doing and with whomever you are doing it. You will also be nicer to be around! If you don't want to be present - leave and BE PRESENT somewhere else.
  10. Reframe 'the unknown'. Treat it like a learning zone instead. That is really all it is. We can feel uncomfortable (well more accurately our brain can) when we are in new territory. This is natural. Some basic research or preparation can help eliminate fear or at least minimize it. By taking charge of preparing, you move from victim to master. Personal power comes from personal mastery, and that always acknowledges personal MYSTERY. No one is in control of everything nor does any one person know everything. The unknown is abundant with possibility.
  11. Use your brain to make meaning that assists your evolution. Our brain is a meaning-making device. We make meaning of everything. This is how we create our reality. There is freedom in understanding we can make meaning that enables us to contribute more of our optimal self to the whole. With practice, this becomes an easier and more obvious choice. We are each a contribution. It is our responsibility to contribute who we are to the Whole.
  12. Atone. Redeem yourself. Make peace not war. Move towards healing and away from hurting. Ask for forgiveness or forgive those you need to and move on. You are not a victim. Your choices have got you this far, and the choices of others have no doubt influenced you too. You or they did what you/they did with the resources you/they have/had. With your energy not wasted on punishment of self or others you will have more energy available for better decision-making. That makes for better quality choices. Results will follow suit - how can they not?
  13. You don't have to wait one more second to be who you are. If you have been waiting for courage, or permission, or forgiveness, or knowledge, or resources, or attention, stop waiting and MOVE in the direction of a dream. It only takes one decision - a YES to your own potential. That YES plants a seed you then get to nurture. That is what personal responsibility is all about. Pay loving attention to the seeds you want to nourish and enjoy the fruits of your very own harvest.

All 13 of these tips will help you activate your 'human superpowers' to mature adult functioning.


Amanda Fleming



Amanda Fleming is Director of Presenter At Large Ltd, an organisation dedicated to presenting highly stimulating and effective learning events that produce lasting positive results.

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